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Our Boat Name Collection

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

d'Artagnan (5K)Hot Ruddered Bum (3K)We think a boat, however small or scruffy, should sport a dignified name. “Stars & Stripes” is a good name for an America’s Cup defender, and we also saw at our dock in Ketchikan a tired old tugboat named “Spike.” Perfect. But some of the names people saddle a poor defenseless boat with are beyond belief. Not to mention funny as hell! Besides, when you’re sinking and want the Coast Guard to come quickly, you don’t want to have to spell “Sea Weedy Pie” over the radio.

We’ve been collecting boat names since 1990, especially in the Pacific Northwest. For some reason, really tacky boat names seem particularly prevalent up there. More Bayliners, maybe? Anyway, our rules for collecting a name are that we have to actually see the boat in person, or hear the name on the radio. We only broke the rules once, for a wonderful name supplied by our friend Mark Lindeman: “Sailbad the Sinner”.

Hope you have lots of fun with this.

Cheers . . . Jan

PS: The Sunday New York Times recently thought this was a fruitful theme, too, so they published a funny article on the subject, called 'Sailing the High Cheese: Make Way for the Beeracuda'. To read it, click here.

Cool Names

Galileo (5K)

Shere Kahn

Ijsselmeer

Talisman

Elan (4K)

Lion’s Paw

Up Spirits

Dark Star

Faraway

Mandarin

Resolute

Tryste

Truancy

Lieutenants' Gig (8K)

Rainshadow

Tiger Rag

Revelry

Vesper

d'Artagnan (5K)

Paprika

Wassail

Haka

Panache

Segue

Zydeco

Peregrine

Racing Sailboat Names

This is a new list we’re working on. Race boats often have the most creative names.

Sailbad the Sinner

Marrakech Express

Jumpin’ Jack Flash

Mostly Harmles

Jabberwocky

Stealth Chicken (4K)

Groovederci

Blade Runner

Zsa Zsa

China Cloud

Recidivist

Crocodile Rock

Out of Options

Irrational Again

Funny/Clever/Tacky Names

Boy do we have a lot of these! Many of them, perhaps in bad taste, are still very clever.

Sugar Booger

Senor Simba (4K)

Reel Hooker

Never Again VI

Tits Up

Hot Ruddered Bum (3K)

Dragon Breath

3 X A Lady

Billy Boat Gruff

Four Play

Shirley’s Temple

Slightly Crewed

R-Waterbed (5K)

Holy Moses

Nauti-Gal

d’Hope Chest

EZDuzit

Budget Buster

Sugar Shack

Bartender

Upchuck

Kantaforder

Ho-Ma-Way

Wet Dream

De-Duck-sion (4K)

Aquaholic

Earth Ship

Cold Pizza

Yachts Afun

Dun Diggin

Grand Funk

Ann Teak

Nauti-Lust

Popsicle Toes

Comfortably Numb (5K)

Spar Trek

Unreel

Baby Number 6

4 R Fun

R Turn

Jus’ Fur Fun

Goofinoff

Naked Iguana (4K)

She Got the House

Bleached Blonde

Beach Condo

Taiwan On

Happy Hooker

Blew-By-You

$um Fun

Knot Lost

Afrayed Knot

Wakey-Wakey

Top Hatteras (4K)

Back Doc

Which Doctor

Romans 10:9

Saila-V

Fish Limo (4K)

Sail le Vie

Duck ‘n the Fog

Hava Kuki

Le Bôt

Czech Mate

Comocean

Promocean (tender = Democean)

Dodge Buoy

Beeping Sleauty

Boy Toy

Bigger Juan II

Zorro del Mar

Egg Us On

Beer Nuts

Special F/X

Stress Tab

Out to Launch

Fore No More

Dairy-Aire

$in ¢ity (from Las Vegas)

Passionate Getaway

Earth Patrol

Ima Rover

Campbell Sloop

Sir Luftalot

Yes Dear

Accounts Payable

Marlin Monroe (5K)

Ferry Queen

The Rutt Factor

Knoti-Nauti C’s

Sosueme

Loan Ranger

Magic Jammies

Reel Action (5K)

Fo Pa

Chateau Bateau

X-Rayted

De-Fishent

Dinghy-N-Me (‘Tender to Me’)

Boatacious

Clairbuoyant

Victoria’s (Other) Secret
(tender ‘Shh’)

Pied A Mer

Bare Naked (2K)

Hombre Oro
(owned by Mr. Goldman?)

Midlife Boat

HMS Hot Lips (tender ‘Pucker’)

Uncle Fishy

Afishionado

Judge’s Chambers

Price’s Waterhouse

Tipafew (4K)

Com.Seas

Dot Calm

Ms. Conduct

Booby Hatch

Cirrhosis of the River

The Unfortunate Sea Collection

Some boat owners just can’t seem to suppress this regrettable ‘urge’.

Seazure (5K)

Sea P.A.

Whoopsea

Lunasea (3K)

Pep Sea

Legasea

Sea Weedy Pie

Ecstasea

XTSea

SummerXTsea

Seaze the Day (6K)

Sea Esta

Sea Quester

Tootsea

Sea-ducer

Mersea

Seagar (6K)

Playseabeau

Sea Spaniel

Vitamin Sea

Sea Battical

Seafari II

Chicken of the Sea

Spy Sea One

Sea Me (4K)

Sea Prompt

Seaduced

Sassea2

Panaseá

Sun C Ker
 

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