Sailing the High Cheese:
Make Way for the Beeracuda
Bad Puns &
Boat Names from A to Z
By Tom Kuntz, New York Times, July 21, 2001
It’s
O-Fish-Hull: There is now more corn on the nation’s waterways than in all of
Iowa. Hype, you say? Not if you sift long enough through the recreational
boat names logged by the 530,000-member
Boat Owners Association of the
United States (www.boatus.com/names).
Sure, the most popular names are pretty standard, echoing the American dream
of pleasure seeking. Last year, Serenity placed first for the fifth
time since the association’s custom boat-graphics service in 1991 began an
annual tally of its most-requested names. But its compilation of hundreds of
other names makes clear that, on a clear day out there on the deep blue, it
is possible to groan frequently without actually being seasick. An
alphabetical sampling follows.
(A) A Loan Again, A One Anna Tuna, Ahab-it, A-Fishy-Nado, A Three-Hour Tour.
(B) Beached Buoys, Beeracuda, Berth Control, Boatrupt, Boatweiser, Beeping
Sleuty, Bow Movement, Biopsea, Bona-4-Tuna, Blown Assets, Boatacious.
(C) Cause for Divorce, Chum Lord, Cod Squad, College Tuition, Crewless,
Cirrhosis of the River, Cruisin’ and Brewsin’, Convinced Her Finally,
Convinced Her Again, Codfather.
(D) Dock Holiday, Docked Wages, Dockter, Don’t Like Yours Either, Dough Bouy,
Doers n’ Water, Dot Calm.
(E) Erie sponsible, El-Meanio, Eeuwbawtawutt.
(F) Freudian Sloop, Fin & Tonic, Forget Me Knot, Fahrfrumwurken, ‘fraid
Knot, “Fillet”-Up, For Sail by Owner, Final Answer!
(G) GrandecrabbinCruiser.
(H) Harvey Dockbanger, Helmroid, Humphrey Boatgart, Here Fishee Fishee!
(I) In Solvant Sea, It’s O-Fish-Al.
(J) Just for the Hull of It, Jurassic Ark, Jamaica-Me-Crazy.
(K) Keel-Joy, Knot to Worry, Knot A Care, Knot-A-Wake, Knot Shore, Knot on
Duty, Knot Again.
(L) LegASea, Lobsta, Lil’ Red RepoLoon A Sea, Lake Thang, Lil’ Bitta Thang.
(M) Mackerelrenna, Marlin Monroe, Miss appropriation, Miss Conduct,
Men-O-Pause, Minnow Paws, Moor-Onz.
(N) Naut-a-Byte, Notta-Yachta, Nauty Buoy, Nobar Toofar, Nut-N-Honey.
(O) Out of Control, Out of Phase, Out to Launch, O-Tay.
(P) Pair-A-Dice, Paradocs, Pier Pressure, Prozac, Paul-Sating Vessel, PatSea.
(R) Rudder Chaos, Reef Madness, Rum Boogie Barge, Reel Deal, Reel Busy, Reel
Deal, Reel Wild, Reel Nauti, Reel Broke.
(S) Sail Bad The Sinner, Sailing Solution, Salesman Ship, Scuba Due, Sea
Love Me Naut, Sea Ya, Sea’s the Day, Sea-Gar, Sea-U-Late-Oar, Seaductive,
Sea Senor, Sea-nile, Sloop Du Jour, Sail-la-Vite, Sorry Charlie, Somebody
Slap Me.
(T) Ta-Keel-La, Tooth Ferry, Tuna Helper, Two Two Twain, Tinytanic, Tax
Seavasion, Tilt-N-Hilton, Thank You Paine Webber.
(U) U4EA.
(V) Victoria’s Sea-crate.
(W) Wet Debt, Whopper Stopper, Weather Oar Knot, Willy Tippit, What About
Bob?, Winkin’, Blinkin’ & Nod, We B Miss B Haven, Wa-Wa-Dat, What’s Up,
Dock?
(X) X*TA*SEA.
(Y) Y-Knot, yachta, yachta, yachta.
(Z) Zero Balance, Zoloft.
Top Ten Boat Names for 2000: Serenity, Irish Eyes, Island Time, Sea
Spirit, Obsession, Time Out, Reel Time, Escapade, Southern Comfort,
Serendipity.
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